Hello, readers. It’s time for Tea Review Tuesday. Which doesn’t always happen on Tuesday, because time is an arbitrary measurement of the amount of life left in our bodies. If you believe in that sort of thing. Life, I mean. Anyway, gather ’round your bloodstone circles and let’s begin.
I won’t always be reviewing teas from Adagio, but it made sense to review a particular one this week. And it’s totally not because the spiders living under my carpet are telling me to do so. They don’t have control over me. Not anymore. Not after they lost the battle to the kittens living in my ceiling. The kittens are much, much meaner than the spiders. What’s that, kittens? Nothing! I’ll review the tea now, like you told me to! Please don’t hurt me with your adorably tiny, sharp teeth!
Today’s blend is called Feral Dogs. I got it after that whole ordeal with the pack of roving feral dogs that terrorized our town. I mean, plastic bags. They were just plastic bags, definitely not Libertarian street artists or rabid or armed.
Upon opening the pouch, the tea smells strongly of cinnamon. Like that book in your house you know is there but you can’t actually pick it up or read it. But you can smell it. Lingering in the air, biting at the edges of your tongue enough to make your mouth water in spicy anticipation. It’s really the only thing you can smell. In your house and in this tea pouch.
Flavor-wise, this tea isn’t spectacular. Sorry to burst your bubble. I wanted to love it, but it’s as boring in your mouth as the plastic bags that returned from the dog park from whence they came. The tea is a mixture of gunpowder, mambo, and cinnamon accented with pretty safflower petals. Mambo is supposed to be smoky and have a cocoa flavor, but the cinnamon overpowers it. The cinnamon also overwhelms the delicate gunpowder green. The tea doesn’t just taste like liquid cinnamon. There’s something else there, but it can’t quite hold its own against the strength of the spice, so it comes across as weak. I brewed this tea but chanting at my teakettle until it reached about 180 degrees Fahrenheit, then steeping it until the tea was done shrieking in pain, about four minutes.
Today’s tea is from the Internet. You can buy it for the price of $10 for a 3 oz pouch or $19 for a 5 oz tin. Just remember, use of the internet is expressly forbidden, and any packages delivered to your door will be confiscated by the Sheriff’s Secret Police for thorough questioning.
If you would like to try this tea and see for yourself if you like it, enter my giveaway to win a sample! I mean, I could be wrong, right? These things do happen. I will be sure to send you a few other samples too, samples of good tea. Good tea approved by the kittens in my ceiling.
And so, I leave you with the taste of cinnamon in my mouth that may mean I had too much tea or I have a tiny rabbit living in there again. Either way, it could be worse.
Goodnight readers, goodnight.